Harry Potter and the Legacy of the Light: A Harry Potter/The Dark Is Rising Sequence Crossover

The CONDENSED EDITION -- Chapters Thirty-One and Thirty-Two
By: Gramarye

WILL: Well, Colin, it's time we brought you up to speed on some things.
COLIN: Such as?
WILL: Here's your Dark-Detecting Quartz Pebble of Canonical Significance, and your mental link to the other five -- and since you're all connected to each other now, it's time to start using that connection for the purpose I've had in mind all along.
HARRY: And that would be?
WILL: Stand in a circle and I'll show you.
THE SIX: *stand in a circle like they're told*
WILL: Now pretend you're holding the hands of the person on either side.
THE SIX: *do so, and magical stuff happens*
WILL: Well?
COLIN: Weird!
GINNY: Tingly!
HERMIONE: Scientific?
WILL: Sort of -- Mr Weasley, Mr Creevey, please change places.v RON AND COLIN: *change places*
WILL: Try it this time.
THE SIX: *do so, and something Impressively Magical happens*
WILL: How's that, now?
THE SIX: ...whoa.
WILL: I would have preferred actual descriptive adjectives, but that will have to do.
RON: So we'll just leave it at that and keep going with the story, then?
GINNY: Speaking of the story, we've got owl post.
HARRY: What's it say?
GINNY: Not much -- just that our dad's turned into a workaholic to cope with his grief and it's even making Percy worried.
HARRY: *sighs*
RON: Well, at least we've got Quidditch.
MCGONAGALL: Attention, students, we're cancelling the upcoming Ravenclaw-Slytherin Quidditch match for an unexplained reason, but there's absolutely no reason to panic.
SNUFFLES: *shows up with a note for Harry*
NOTE: Dear Harry -- Death Eaters have escaped from Azkaban, but there's absolutely no reason to panic -- Love, Remus.
THE SIX: *sprint to the Room of Requirement little room off the library*
WILL: I'm not going to lie to you -- there might be just a little bit of reason to panic.
THE SIX: *blink*
WILL: You see, Voldemort might well use the power of the Dark in an attempt to cast this spell that can blast all of you into a void outside Time forever.
THE SIX: *blinkblink*
WILL: Oh, and there's no way to block it or deflect it.
THE SIX: *squirm a little*
WILL: The long and short of it is that Harry has precisely one shot at sending the spell back at Voldemort.
THE SIX: *look somewhat ill*
WILL: Should I emphasise that the price of failure here actually is a fate worse than death?
THE SIX: *collectively face-palm, and proceed to train for hours*
HARRY: After that, I think I need to go talk to Remus and Sirius.
REMUS: Well, we can talk, but we'll be interrupted by Professor Snape bringing me my dose of Wolfsbane.
SNAPE: *glarescowlsneers at everyone, but particularly at Harry*
REMUS: Thank you, Severus -- I'll drink this later.
SNAPE: You'll drink it now and you'll damn well enjoy it, Lupin, because this is one of the few high points of my miserable existence.
REMUS: *sighs and drinks the potion as Snape flounces out, then proceeds to have a coughing fit*
SIRIUS: Just between you and me, Harry, the Wolfsbane Potion sucks and it's not doing Remus any good.
HARRY: Gosh, I hadn't noticed that in the least, Sirius.
SIRIUS: Don't be a smart-arse, just keep it in mind.
HARRY: So I'm supposed to keep an eye on Snape and train for this thing that Will wants me to do and worry about Remus at the same time?
WILL: Well, at least you're making progress on the spell, Mr Potter.
NEVILLE: Which is a good thing, because otherwise you'd have hit him on the head with a poker in the process of testing out his progress and really quite seriously injured him.
WILL: That was rather the point.
REMUS: In the interests of speeding up the plot, I'm here to inform you that Hagrid's gone missing, presumed captured by Death Eaters.
HERMIONE: And everyone in the school's going to be horrifically on edge because of it.
RON: But the Quidditch is back on!
HARRY: That doesn't do us any good, Ron, because OW PAIN SCAR OW.
HERMIONE/RON/GINNY/NEVILLE/COLIN: ....OW PAIN SCAR OW WTF?
HARRY: Side effect of the linking spell, I think.
HERMIONE/RON/GINNY/NEVILLE/COLIN: At least now we know you weren't exaggerating the OW all those other times.
HARRY: ...that doesn't make me feel any better, people.
FRED AND GEORGE: Wait, so what's going on with all of you?
GINNY: Just shut up and tell everyone to be on the alert at the Quidditch match today.
FRED AND GEORGE: ...yes'm.
ENTIRE SCHOOL: *watches Ravenclaw-Slytherin Quidditch match*
ENTIRE SCHOOL: *is in a single partially enclosed wooden structure that is separated from the castle itself, and happens to be generally distracted by the action in the air*
ENTIRE SCHOOL: *is therefore in the makings of a giant bonfire and not paying that much attention to that fact*
(GRAMARYE: So do you see where this is going already?
THE READERS: Just shut up and get to the action.
GRAMARYE: ...all right, you asked for it.)
DRACO: *goes after the Snitch!*
CHO CHANG: *also goes after the Snitch!*
DRACO: *looks like he's about to win!*
STRATEGIC, CANONICALLY SIGNIFICANT, AND PRESUMABLY EVIL BOLT OF LIGHTNING: KER-ZAPP!
DRACO: *is KER-ZAPPed!*
ENTIRE SCHOOL: .........
(GRAMARYE: *ends chapter there*
THE READERS: ...you're mean.
GRAMARYE: Oh, I've only just started.)

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