Harry Potter and the Legacy of the Light: A
Harry Potter/The Dark Is Rising Sequence Crossover
The CONDENSED EDITION -- Chapters Twenty-Eight Through Thirty
By: Gramarye
HERMIONE: *stares blankly ahead of her for the entire journey back to Hogwarts*
RON: Are we going to be yelled at?
HARRY: Well, we've been lucky so far.
GINNY: RON WEASLEY, IF YOU EVER GO AND GET YOURSELF KILLED I SWEAR I'M NEVER SPEAKING TO YOU AGAIN!!
RON: Oh boy.
HARRY: So now what?
NEVILLE: Now we have Easter holidays and such so I can recover from getting my arm broken.
HARRY: Ooh, and I've got a letter, and it's from...Colin Creevey?
GINNY: What's in the letter, Harry?
HARRY: *shows them the three photographs Colin included in his letter*
GINNY/RON/HERMIONE: ...holy crap.
HARRY: Yeah, pretty much.
HARRY/GINNY/RON/HERMIONE: *run like hell for Remus's office*
REMUS: What's happened this time?
SNUFFLES: Uh, woof?
HARRY: We've got photographic proof that Sirius isn't evil!
SIRIUS: *looks at photographs...and then proceeds to grab Remus in a purely platonic way and dance around the room with him in an equally platonic way*
MCGONAGALL: Why are there festivities going on in here?
SIRIUS: Uh...we're celebrating the fact that I'm officially Not Evil?
MCGONAGALL: When you take your hand off of Professor Lupin's behind, I might pretend to believe that.
SIRIUS/REMUS: *quickly move to stand at opposite ends of the room*
HARRY: So what does this mean for us?
WILL'S LETTER: I think you know well enough what it means, Mr Potter.
HARRY: Oh, Colin...there's someone you need to meet.
WILL: Hello, Mr Creevey.
COLIN: *stares at Will*
WILL: *tries to look as benign and non-threatening as possible -- and for the most part, succeeds*
COLIN: Say -- I took your picture, didn't I?
WILL: And it was a very good picture of me, too.
COLIN: Well, you have to know a lot about working with the light when you take photos, y'know.
WILL: ...you should realise that I'm currently exerting every ounce of self-possession that I possess not to visibly flinch at that comment.
COLIN: *looks very confused*
WILL: Oh, never mind -- anyway, we're supposed to meet an entirely random group of people who have all decided to drop in for cocoa.
DUMBLEDORE: Order of the Phoe...er, Entirely Random Group of People Who Have All Decided to Drop In for Cocoa, would you please stand up and tell these children why you're here?
SIRIUS/REMUS: The author needed an excuse for us to meet Will Stanton, so here we are.
MCGONAGALL/SNAPE: The author assumed we'd have nothing better to do with our weekday evenings, so here we are.
VINCENT DE HAVILLAND: The author wanted to have a representative of the Fourth Estate present, so here I am.
MUNDUNGUS FLETCHER: The author completely made up my personality from a name given at the end of Book Four, so here I am.
ARTHUR WEASLEY: The author wanted to make the readers squirm, so here I am.
ARABELLA FIGG: The author really likes it when I'm openly rude to Will Stanton, so here I am.
WILL: The author wanted me here for reasons which must be patently obvious to all of you by now, so here I am.
HARRY/RON/HERMIONE/NEVILLE/GINNY/COLIN: Um...hi.
DUMBLEDORE: Excellent, excellent -- more cocoa, anyone?
ARABELLA FIGG: Now that we're all here, what's the latest news?
SNAPE: I was outed at the most recent Death Eater Jamboree.
EVERYONE ELSE: *stares*
SNAPE: As a spy, you perverts.
EVERYONE ELSE: Oh.
DUMBLEDORE: Excellent, excellent -- anything else to report?
ARABELLA FIGG: Just the usual stirrings of socio-political discord that may or may not become crucial to the story later on.
RON: Anyone want to see where Wormtail tried to throttle me?
ARTHUR WEASLEY: *turns an interesting shade of tartan at the sight*
RON: Oops...sorry, Dad.
DUMBLEDORE: Meeting adjourned -- do help yourself to cocoa before you leave.
HARRY: Maybe I should go see if Will and Remus and Sirius are talking about anything interesting.
WILL: Not really, Mr Potter.
REMUS: We're just hashing out a bit of back-story, don't mind us.
HARRY: All right, maybe I should go see if Will and Dumbledore are talking about anything interesting.
WILL: Not really, Mr Potter.
DUMBLEDORE: You see, Dr Stanton was just trying to convince me not to set myself on fire in order to defeat Lord Voldemort.
HARRY: Oh, he tried that with me a couple of chapters ago.
WILL: Small wonder you call yourselves the Order of the Phoenix -- every single one of you has a self-immolation fetish.
DUMBLEDORE: *beams*
WILL: *sighs and takes some more paracetamol*
HARRY: Now that that meeting's over with, I'm going to skive off class today because I have a bad case of Angst.
REMUS: Except for the part where you're going to come to my office and tell your godfather and I everything you know about Will Stanton.
HARRY: Um, let's see -- he's good, and he fought the Dark, and he knew Merlin, and he could smite us all with his eyebrow if he wanted to.
SIRIUS: ...right.
REMUS: Anything else?
HARRY: I'll probably regret this later, but I think I'm going to chicken out entirely and make Will do the rest of the explaining for me.
WILL: *tidies his office omnisciently until a stack of books falls on him*
HARRY: Will, are you okay?
WILL: Yes, for I am able to appear sufficiently intimidating even when dust-coated.
REMUS/SIRIUS/HARRY: Oooooh.
SIRIUS: What's this I hear about you putting Harry into almost-certain peril on a regular basis?
WILL: He's done a fairly decent job of that on his own for the past four years without me helping him, wouldn't you say?
HARRY: Hey!
REMUS: But you won't put him into peril anymore than you have to, right?
WILL: Well, the Light gave me a horrific bout of hepatitis and condemned a mortal man to several centuries' worth of existence as a mostly insane vagrant -- amongst other things -- so of course Mr Potter and his friends will be perfectly safe under my tutelage.
SIRIUS: Tell us again why we're supposed to trust you?
WILL: Because I'm good and I fought the Dark and I knew Merlin and I could smite you all with my eyebrow if I wanted to?
REMUS: ...yep, that works for me.
SIRIUS: Me too.
HARRY: Can't complain.
WILL: *sneezes omnisciently*
COLIN: So what do we usually do at these study session things with Will?
GINNY: He tells us what to do and we do it, usually.
NEVILLE: I think the look on Hermione's face means that this week might be a little different.
HERMIONE: *tries to look as if she hasn't been crying for hours*
WILL: What's happened, Miss Granger?
HERMIONE: I found out that Natalie McDonald might have permanent brain damage and it's all my fault so I told Professor McGonagall about what I'd done to get Natalie expelled and then she took away my prefect privileges and said she was ashamed of me!
HARRY: Well...it's not the end of the world, is it?
(THE READERS: Shut up, Harry, this is Important Character Development.)
WILL: Miss Granger, you know that what you did was right.
HERMIONE: I know, but I still feel awful about it.
WILL: Important Character Development tends to have that effect on most people.
RON: Oh, uh, Will?
WILL: Yes, Mr Weasley?
RON: While we're talking about Important Character Development -- you kept Wormtail from choking me to death back in Chapter Twenty-Seven, so I think I owe you some kind of a life debt.
HARRY: Heh heh, nice joke, Ron.
WILL: Does it still apply even if I'm not technically a wizard?
RON: If you're not technically a wizard, I'm not technically breathing.
HARRY: Really, Ron, a joke's a joke, but this one isn't all that funny.
WILL: Very well, Mr Weasley, I accept your debt.
RON: Then I think we need to formally shake hands and seal this apparently traditional and irreversible agreement.
HARRY: Um, Ron, you're kind of freaking me out here.
(THE READERS: Shut up, Harry, this is Important Character Development.)
RON AND WILL: *formally shake hands, sealing the apparently traditional and irreversible agreement*
(HALF OF THE READERS: Awwwwwww.)
(THE OTHER HALF OF THE READERS: Oh, crap -- Ron's so going to die, isn't he.)
WILL: Right then, that's enough Important Character Development...it's time to get back to the plot.
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