Harry Potter and the Legacy of the Light: A
Harry Potter/The Dark Is Rising Sequence Crossover
The CONDENSED EDITION -- Chapters Twenty-Six and Twenty-Seven
By: Gramarye
RON: So, where were we?
HERMIONE: I've just thoroughly shocked people by a very un-Gryffindor-like display of petty vindictiveness and outright deceit.
WILL: Well done, Miss Granger -- you'll make an ideal minion of the Dark in no time.
HERMIONE: *gulp*
WILL: But of course, we can't have that, so I'm going to have to do something about it.
HARRY: Will the something hurt?
WILL: In all probability, yes.
HARRY: Will it hurt a lot?
WILL: If you continue to ask pointless questions, I can almost guarantee it will.
HARRY: *gulp*
WILL: *calmly proceeds to electrocute the Dark out of the five of them*
HARRY/RON/HERMIONE/GINNY/NEVILLE: ....ow.
WILL: Now run along and occupy yourselves with something non-destructive.
HARRY: Maybe some Quidditch?
RON: *flings the Quaffle directly at Draco, which is actually probably legal in Quidditch but which is meant to be Unsporting and Underhanded here*
HARRY: Or, um, not.
DRACO: Weasel, your incompetence is truly astounding -- is it hereditary?
RON: *cheerfully tries to kill Draco*
HARRY: Ron, don't --
RON: Gonna kill --
DRACO: Didn't mean to --
HARRY: -- Ron, listen to me!
RON: -- lying cheating murdering Death Eater scum!
DRACO: -- swear by Merlin!
MYSTERIOUS VOICE: Right, that's quite enough of that.
HARRY/RON: ...what?
DRACO: Er...are you still going to kill me?
RON: Didn't you just hear a mysterious voice?
DRACO: No.
HARRY/RON: Oh.
DRACO: Yeah, well, okay, I'm sorry your mother's dead but I'll deny I ever said that.
HARRY: Well, that was weird.
REMUS: Say, Harry, can we talk for a sec?
HARRY: Only if it's not about the study sessions I've been having.
SIRIUS: It is.
HARRY: Well, then I'll have to make up some lame excuse.
REMUS: Not good enough.
HARRY: Stall for time?
SIRIUS: Not good enough.
HARRY: Flail and run away?
REMUS/SIRIUS: ...if you must.
HARRY: *does so, and ends up in the Room of Require...er, the little room off the library*
HERMIONE: Something wrong, Harry?
HARRY: Not now, I'm sulking in a characteristic manner.
NEVILLE: Y'know, the only thing that would make this day complete is for your --
HARRY: SCAR-PAIN-OW-OW!
WILL: Again, you're not the only one dealing with pain in Significantly Inflicted Scars, Mr Potter.
HERMIONE: What's going on?
WILL: Someone's tampering with the Hogwarts Express.
HERMIONE/RON/NEVILLE/GINNY: Gasp!
WILL: So I'm going to go find out the who, where and how -- and I'm going to order you not to leave this room, even though I already know it's a waste of breath.
HARRY: Will told us not to leave the room, so clearly we're going to end up leaving the room.
RON: And ending up on the Hogwarts Express just in time for someone to hit the brakes!
HARRY/HERMIONE/RON/NEVILLE: *get flung about*
NEVILLE: Oh, I've broken my arm!
RON: Um...Natalie McDonald seems to have broken more than that.
HERMIONE: *goes into hysterics*
HARRY: No time to waste on panicking, we've got to fight off Dementors on horseback!
RON: Dementors...on horseback?
HARRY: Hey, don't look at me, I'm not the one who came up with the idea!
DEMENTORS ON HORSEBACK: Ba-bada-ba-bada-ba-bada-ba-BONANZA!
HARRY/RON: EXPECTO PATRONAFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIUS!
DEMENTORS ON HORSEBACK: *run away screaming*
HARRY/RON: *high-five*
WORMTAIL: And while you're both distracted --
RON: *is yoinked off the train*
HARRY: Unhand him, Wormtail!
WORMTAIL: And since when do you get to use words like 'unhand', Potter?
HARRY: Since...just now?
RON: *flails and makes gurgling 'I'm-about-to-be-strangled' noises*
WORMTAIL: Right, so if you'll just let me get back to killing your best friend --
CONVENIENTLY-LOCATED OLD WAY: *whoosh flash flicker-flare KABOOM!*
WORMTAIL: EEP!
WILL: *looks at Wormtail and raises an eyebrow omnisciently*
WORMTAIL: *cringes, understandably*
WILL: Pettigrew, would you kindly tell the Dark Lord that the whole Black Rider thing is terribly passe, and inform him that he might want to invest in a copy of my forthcoming book: A Pocket Guide to Selected Locations in the British Isles Where You Really Don't Want to Antagonise an Old One.
WORMTAIL: *runs away screaming*
REMUS: Harry, Ron, thank god I've arrived to save -- wait, who are you?
WILL: Right on time, Professor Lupin.
REMUS: ...am I supposed to know you?
WILL: Sadly, answering that would spoil my fun, so I'll just make a quiet, unobtrusive exit through these gigantic free-standing wooden doors that have quietly and unobtrusively appeared out of nowhere.
REMUS: ...okay, sure.
WILL: *does his disappearing thing*
HARRY: Are we in trouble now?
REMUS: I honestly don't know, but you might be, so I'll just say 'yes' and leave it at that.
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