Harry Potter and the Legacy of the Light: A Harry Potter/The Dark Is Rising Sequence Crossover
The CONDENSED EDITION -- Chapters Nineteen Through Twenty-One
By: Gramarye
HARRY: So in case you'd forgotten, my life sucks as usual.
HERMIONE: Aren't you going to apologise to me yet?
HARRY: Not until I've moped about for another scene or two.
COLIN: Even though you're moping, I'm here for you, Harry.
HARRY: Thanks, Colin.
COLIN: No, really, Harry, I'm here for you.
HARRY: Er...thanks, Colin.
COLIN: You do know that I'm here for you, right, Harry?
HARRY: *drowns in wretched guilt*
HERMIONE: At least you're not yelling at everyone or sulking for pages and pages about how no one understands you.
HARRY: Um, Hermione...fanfiction....
HERMIONE: Fine, fine, just take the book I stereotypically got you for Christmas and let's get on with it.
RON/GINNY: *appear -- Ron scowling and Ginny near-catatonic*
HARRY: Um...hi, Ron?
RON: *stalks off, scowling and dragging Ginny by the hair*
HARRY: But Ron, I haven't even said what I was going to...oh, he's gone.
NEVILLE: Well, Harry, at least you've still got Quidditch.
FRED&GEORGE: Oh, by the way, Harry, our prat of a brother told us to tell that he'd see you playing nude beach volleyball with You-Know-Who in the wizarding equivalent of Hell before he played Keeper on your team again.
HARRY: Look, if I wanted verbal abuse, I'd go find Malfoy.
DRACO: Not today, Potter -- bugger off and let me brood mysteriously in peace.
HARRY: Wait, Malfoy, aren't you supposed to insult my scar or my choice of friends or my personal hygiene habits or...oh, he's gone.
HERMIONE: No time for that now, we've got to meet with Will.
RON: *arrives extremely late, still scowling*
WILL: You're late, Mr Weasley.
RON: Yeah, well, you know how it is.
WILL: *raises eyebrow*
HARRY/NEVILLE/HERMIONE: *cower behind various pieces of furniture*
WILL: Come on, hurry up with the mirror, the plot hasn't got all night.
MIRROR: *doesn't work*
WILL: Well, in that case, I'm off to do important things that don't concern you.
NEVILLE: But Will --
WILL: Except for the parts that do, of course, but those are the parts that you don't get to hear about yet.
HERMIONE: But Will --
WILL: And do let me know once you're forcibly removed whatever unfortunate unidentified object has become lodged in young Mr Weasley's backside.
HARRY: But Wi...oh, he's gone.
DUMBLEDORE: Hello all, I'm Minister of Magic now...as if nine-tenths of you hadn't already seen that coming.
HERMIONE: Harry, you do know Ginny's not coping at all well with her Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, right?
HARRY: And what the heck do you expect me to do about it?
GINNY: *conveniently solves the problem by tripping over her own feet*
HARRY: The hell?
RON: Hands off my sister, Potter!
GINNY: Ron, you're being an ass and it's high time you stopped.
HERMIONE: ...so much for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.
RON: But, Ginny...Voldemort...Mum...Harry...Voldemort...Malfoy...Harry...my brain hurts!
GINNY: I know, Ron, but you have to admit that of all the reasons to want to beat the crap out of Harry, that's not even in the top ten.
RON/GINNY: *cry and hug and bond in the best 'A Very Special Episode'[1] tradition*
HARRY: So, now that that's over with...?
WILL: ...hello, Ginny Weasley.
GINNY: *boggles*
HARRY: Ginny, this is Will Stanton.
GINNY: *boggles*
HARRY: You know, the mild-mannered report...er, rather omniscient immortal being who's helping us fight He-Whose-Nickname-Wears-Out-The-Author's-Hyphen-Key.
GINNY: *boggles*
WILL: And if I'm lucky, I get to teach Social Anthropology in my spare time.
GINNY: ...can I touch you?
RON: Ginny!
GINNY: Shut up, Ron -- whatever he's doing, I want in on it, so nyah.
MIRROR: *sparkle sparkle glitter flash*
WILL: I love it when a plan comes together.